TOO MANY CURSES, A. Lee Martinez

What do you do when you throw together a kobold, a sadistic wizard and packrat, and a castle full of enchanted creatures and objects who just want to get back to their normal lives, and not get mauled, petrified, or consumed by a door that must never be opened? When you put it like that, it sounds like a Harry Potter spinoff, but even Hogwarts was never this unruly. Instead of a boy wizard, our intrepid hero is a foxy-looking kobold named Nessy who just wants to get through her chores without the castle falling into utter madness, especially after her master, Margle the Horrendous, is accidentally murdered. Such is the romp Too Many Curses.

This fantasy screwball comedy brings out all the wildness of its premise. But Curses isn’t exactly a laugh-out-loud riot. Much of the humor relies on dry wit and quirky characters, not clear-cut punch lines. It will get a chuckle out of you, but don’t be too disappointed if you’re not rofl-ing. Now and then you can feel the humor push a bit beyond its reach and trip over itself. Thankfully those moments pass quickly and are easily forgiven. Maybe it’s the type of humor that hits its mark best when someone is actually delivering it. In other words, I really would like to see a film adaptation of this book and how comic minds would perform these scenes. But there’s more than humor working in this book’s favor.

While it might not make your sides split (funny-bone triggers may vary), there’s plenty that will pluck at your heart strings. Bit by bit, Martinez’s characters win your sympathy and support, Nessy above all. She possesses remarkable sensibility, and while it doesn’t diminish her fears and struggles, her pragmatic approach to any dire crisis can’t help but fill you with admiration. She’s not just a hero, but someone who can inspire anyone dealing with day-to-day stress, with or without monsters and black magic. She has some luck on her side, which she doesn’t take for granted—rather she moves forward with both optimism and practicality. She’s also not saccharine about it; you won’t meet a more down-to-earth character. She charms with her level-headed logic, her cleverness, her humility, and the well-intended lectures she gives the mischievous, or homicidal, members of the castle’s household. At the same time, she acknowledges the fears that also drive her to keep this beastly abode in one piece. I feel like Nessy and Bilbo Baggins could share a pleasant tête-a-tête over tea.

Let’s not forget the other characters, of course. It shocked me how, with nearly every chapter, the supporting cast and population count of Margle’s castle multiplies. I expected to learn only a handful of characters by name, but Martinez does not hesitate to flesh out the castle’s residents. Many of them are flat, but in a memorable way. There are dozens of heroes who have been transformed into bats, toads, gargoyles, rats, snails and so on. One pair of lovers has been cursed as a mouse and an owl, and the owl can speak only in alliterations. Echo is a poet-turned-disembodied voice and one of Nessy’s most depended-upon helpers, along with Thaddeus, the Scottish bat, and Yazpib, Margle’s brother who now resides in a jar with only his brain, eyeballs and teeth. The best part is how helpless this crew can be dealing with a terrifying wizardess call Tiama the Scarred, who can kill with a single touch—yet somehow they put their unique skills to work to help Nessy circumvent disaster. Mind you, their successes are often short-lived, only delaying the inevitable doom they all face. But that’s just life, isn’t it?

Most of us hope life doesn’t include creatures such as The Monster That Should Not Be inhabiting the menagerie, or hellhounds and Gorgon hazes roaming the halls. Nessy’s trials are no small matters; once the stakes are raised, they don’t stop rising. Dread over the uncertain fate of the castle’s cursed denizens following Margle’s death turns to threats on their lives from unfettered monstrosities. Or visiting wizardesses, or the castle itself bent on self-destruction, for that matter. With these dangers come some disturbing scenarios that I imagine will inspire a young reader with fuel for their nightmares. That said, middle-school kids would gobble this up, until perhaps the book gets into topics like death, violence and inhumane cruelty. The book counterbalances these grim themes with its snappy comedy. Comedy and horror frequently overlap and overturn each other. For every problem the story throws at Nessy, often all at once, she handles them with wit that belies her vulnerability.

Nessy is an unconventional protagonist joined by a hodgepodge of funny side characters and terrifying enemies, all caught up in a classic good/evil conflict that doesn’t quite resolve the way you’d expect. That makes their story all the more memorable. If the humor at least makes you smile, the suspense and adventure will more than carry you through all the perils of dangerous magic and domestic upkeep.

Rating: 4.5/5